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Whoa. That's a lot to say in the span of ten minutes. And I would make absolutely sure it is rehearsed and timed - several times. Might want to leave that story out at the beginning. Everyone knowing there is only ten minutes, they are already paying attention. First, lay out the problem, which could be in *short* story form. Then your solution. These are the two-three lines you should know cold that describe your solution. Clear, plain language, concise - the essence of your business. I would Show Success after I introduce the team for two reasons. The first is it's best to leave them with the good news; what you've accomplished so far - but only if its truly good news. Otherwise, be 100% honest in your Status section in bullet points. Great suggestions in Market. Never leave these out and think them through carefully. You not only want to let your potential investors know this, you will soon be in that market, and the work you do here will you help you better understand motivations and market circumstances. In Competition, I would add who you think your most formidable competitor is. If only because they will, indeed, ask. Right after, you should have a list of differentiators and advantages. For Business Model, provide sales figures for five years, and a list of revenue streams, when they come in, and how they grow. You should know when you're going to break-even, and when you're going to start making a profit. For non-profits, it's not much different. They are businesses that need to be sustained, as well. The rest of the suggestions are great. Don't forget this: rehearse and time it over and over. Would be good to at least record the audio and hear it back, if not video. Hit those points hard and get through it. If you did your job, the next 20 minutes will be full of good questions. A good idea clearly related and already earnestly acted upon to some degree will get the attention of at least the already-inclined to want to learn more. The reason for jamming all of this into a short period of time, is to demonstrate you've put the time and thought into these critical areas.