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We live in Arizona, which does not allow adult adoptions over age 21. I have a 23-year old man that aged out of the foster care system, never having been adopted, whose mother was murdered when he was 6. There never was a father in the biological family - he doesn't even know who that was, nor does anyone else.
We have just assumed the relationship of father/son (I'm 50). I'm totally committed to him but wondering what I should look out for. While it would have been great to have been able to legally adopt him, can't a system similar to what same-sex couples have to work with accomplish much of the same thing? Wills, joint accounts, medical directives, etc.
I saw an article on same-sex couples' horror stories with hospitals, and being well familiar with this, my heart nearly stopped when it dawned on me that WE fit in this same category. Any ideas? Am I missing something that will come to haunt us?