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Conjugal Visits: Preserving family bonds behind bars
-
Sep 2008
Most of us assume that prison life precludes any private contact between inmates and their significant others. After all, that's one of the penalties of going to prison. But then what about conjugal visits? The term has an old-fashioned ring to it, evoking images of prisoners' wives sneaking into the big house while the guards turn a blind eye. But conjugal visits actually do take place in a handful of states as a means to preserve family relationships during the period of incarceration.
A Brief Look into the History of Conjugal Visits
Interestingly, the origins of the conjugal visit had more to do with encouraging work than preserving marital relationships. The earliest program dates back to 1918 when James Parchmann, the warden at Mississippi State Penitentiary, introduced conjugal visits as an incentive for inmates to work harder. Sex was used as the proverbial dangling carrot for increasing inmate productivity.
Over time, the system proved quite effective. So over the next 40 years, new prisons included special buildings specifically designed for Sunday "visits." Today, conjugal visitation programs, also known as the Extended Family Visit, only survive in six states: California, Connecticut, Mississippi, New Mexico, New York and Washington.
Modern Conjugal Visits
Although conjugal programs are still used as an incentive for good behavior, they are no longer applied as a means to increase work productivity. Today, the conjugal visit program is designed primarily to preserve family bonds. The idea is that supporting these bonds will strengthen the inmate's chances for rehabilitation and lessen rates of recidivism. Thus, most Extended Family Visit programs are limited to inmates and spouses who were legally married prior to incarceration.
A Privilege, not a Right
Typically, the states that offer Extended Family Programs are extremely selective when it comes to choosing who can participate. Not every convict wearing a wedding ring is automatically eligible. Each state's Department of Corrections has its own highly specific set of eligibility rules and requirements. For example, inmates must be serving in a medium security prison or less. They cannot have any recent behavior or rule violations. And once they have jumped through all the necessary hoops, the prisoner must go through a mandatory health screening.
On the other side, those wishing to visit the prisoner must also qualify for eligibility. A spouse must (1.) be on the prisoner's approved visitor list (2.) provide proof of relation (3.) pass a background check (4.) submit to a search and (5.) dress appropriately. In California, the list of banned clothing is extensive but common sense. Transparent clothing, bare midriffs, strapless attire, and anything with obscene or offensive language or drawings won't make it past security. In Connecticut, the Department of Corrections tells visitors not to wear "revealing, seductive, or offensive clothing or attire that draws undue attention."
So, just where do these visits take place?
Prison scenes in movies often show couples on the phone separated by glass or, at best, sitting in a cafeteria patrolled by watchful guards. This is where we return to the idea of special buildings for family visits. Inmates who qualify for visits are furnished with private, apartment-style settings within the prison walls.
As the name implies, Extended Family Visits are not limited simply to spouses. In most states, up to three family members can be present at a visit. The time in the apartment allows the family unit to act as a whole. Internationally, the conjugal visit is seen as an important part of the prisoner's interaction with the outside world - a vivid reminder of life on the other side of the prison walls. In Russia, visitors can bring food and civilian clothing for the prisoner. In Canada, the apartments are designed to look like homes. Some even have gardens and barbecues.
In the US, Extended Family Visit programs are justified by 5 of the 6 participating states on the grounds that it helps preserve the family. The hope is that maintaining familial relationships during incarceration will motivate prisoners to improve their behavior both behind bars and upon release.
Most Viewed in Marriage & Domestic Partnership
Comments
Submitted by on May 17, 2010 - 8:48PM
I am glad to see that certain restrictions take place on these Extended Family Visits. In California what proof must be shown to show that one is related to an inmate?
Submitted by on Jun 14, 2010 - 10:00AM
Usually a marriage license for spouses and birth certificates for children.
Submitted by on Dec 29, 2010 - 10:24PM
You must show proof of a marriage certificate or birth certificate proving that you are related to that inmate. T
Submitted by on Jun 29, 2010 - 12:03AM
What are the chances of restoring family visits to lifers. I have signed several petitions over the last two years and it seems nothing is being done
Submitted by on Jul 15, 2010 - 10:41AM
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Submitted by on Aug 19, 2010 - 2:35AM
In California the correct term is "Family Visits". I doubt that anyone would want to have a conjugal visit with your grand mother! And currently the visits are only two days. I miss them...
It was one person that angered a well funded group,who is backed by the CCOPA!
Just my 2 cents worth...
Submitted by on Aug 24, 2010 - 10:46AM
Although I don't believe inmates deserve the privilege of conjugal visits, I'm interested in knowing if there areany statisticson the success/failure rate for sustaining the families/recidivision. Have there been any studies or records kept in these matters? Thank you, Terry B. Would appreciate a reply.
Submitted by on Mar 11, 2012 - 8:18PM
I think they deserve family visits. You don't even know the reason or circumstances why their in prison. Some inmates are innocent like my husband. How would you like it if your life and dignity was taken away from you?? Noo I wouldnt think so. I'm tired of ignorant people like you posting ridiculous crap. I think if they all them it takes stress off them and probably make suicidal rate go down in prison.
Submitted by on Aug 28, 2010 - 2:50AM
...can you visit an inmate during a conjugal visit if you arent married to them but have their child? would i be able to bring my child and we could both spend time with the inmate?
Submitted by on Sep 3, 2010 - 3:14PM
Thanks for your inquiry. Just a reminder: LegalZoom makes it easy and affordable to create your own legal document, but we don't give specific legal advice. We can help you find an attorney with our attorney referral network: http://attorneyconnect.legalzoom.com
Submitted by on Dec 17, 2010 - 12:55AM
In New York you must be married and wait 6 months to have your first family visit.
Submitted by on Dec 29, 2010 - 10:29PM
In California you must be a spouse, child, sibling or parent to visit, no exceptions.
Submitted by on Sep 12, 2010 - 1:47PM
My husband is about to be sentenced in california he is takeing a 7yr plea how long after he is at the prison can he get a conjugal visit? And how many can Be at that visit?
Submitted by on Dec 29, 2010 - 10:28PM
He has to apply at the prison, with his counselor and be approved. Our first family visit was about 5 months after the approval. You can take I believe up to 4 children and the spouse, or his siblings/parents. I have heard that they make exceptions though. Check at the prison to see what their accomodations are like, for example whether it is a one or two bedroom family visiting space.
Submitted by on Sep 15, 2010 - 8:23AM
Is it possible for a CA state prison inmate to get a family visit with their spouse even if they are going through the divorce process?
Submitted by on Dec 17, 2010 - 12:53AM
People who have this privilege do not call it conjugals. These are family visits. For this ever to be implemented in other states it must be understood. These visits are to keep the family bonds alive. They are not only for married couples. I have this right in new York. My husband is in a maximum security prison and has been for the last 18 years, so this article is wrong on more than one point. In New York any prisoner can apply and have visits with their parents, brothers and sisters they don't have to be married as long as the correctional facility officers this program. To qualify you must have a positive behavior history, take anger management and substance abuse classes if a drug offense.
Just like some of the comments above people think it;s about sex only. This is about family bonds. A father parenting his child who is also a victim, or the parents and the wife who are also victims just not popular ones. The relativism rate in New York of prisoners who have family visits is 19% those who don't have family visits is 49%. This program works if only the puplic would see the other side of the picture. You put a man in prison for 20 years and take everything away from him then let him out what kind of man will be released into the community. You take a man who is able to serve his time and keep his family intact will most likely not re-offend.
Submitted by on Jan 1, 2011 - 6:26PM
Can someone please tell me if the state of New York allow lifers with the possibility of parole to get conjugal visits??? or of any other states
that you might
know of??
Submitted by on Jan 7, 2011 - 11:45AM
Hello, this is a great question, however because we are not a law firm, we are unable to give you legal information regarding specific laws in New York. An attorney might be able to give you more insight on this matter. Please refer to http://attorneyconnect.legalzoom.com.
Submitted by on Jan 27, 2011 - 2:30PM
Yes, New York allows prisoners with LWOP sentance Family Visits, FRP's Family Reunion Program. They do not call them conjugals, and you get in trouble if you do these are family visits.
Submitted by on Jan 10, 2011 - 2:29AM
can you visit a inmmate even do u are not married but have kids 3kids with this man and he is married with some one else?or is she the only one that could visit ''or would it be best to send my kids with his wife ?he has a demestic violence case in the pas with me and also with his new wife but they where just reports they never acuatly charge him with that ''but the county put a restrainig order on him ''not to come around me for 5 yrs
Submitted by on Jan 28, 2011 - 4:24PM
Hello, this is a great question. We'd love to help, but our specialty is legal documents, not legal advice. We can help you find a lawyer to answer your questions, though. Check out our attorney referral network: http://attorneyconnect.legalzoom.com
Submitted by on Apr 14, 2011 - 10:39AM
Thanks for your inquiry. Just a reminder: LegalZoom makes it easy and affordable to create your own legal document, but we don't give specific legal advice. You may want to try our Attorney Services Division: http://attorneyconnect.legalzoom.com
Submitted by on Apr 24, 2011 - 2:13PM
I live in the state of Kansas and need more help to getting conjugal visits approved in Kansas Department Of Corrections
Submitted by on May 4, 2011 - 1:30PM
Thanks for your inquiry. LegalZoom makes creating legal documents easy and affordable, but we can't give specific legal advice about conjugal visits. However, we may be able to help you find an attorney who can assist you, try: http://attorneyconnect.legalzoom.com
Submitted by on Jun 8, 2011 - 4:40PM
If I marry my man in Pelican Bay (Crescent City,CA) will we be able to have Family visits?
Submitted by on Jul 1, 2011 - 11:59AM
Hi Shorty. Thank you for contacting LegalZoom. We'd love to help, but our specialty is legal documents and not legal advice. However, you can get free legal advice on the LegalZoom Facebook page every Friday. Check out Free Joe Friday: http://zoo.mn/FreeJoe.
Submitted by on Jun 15, 2011 - 9:48AM
I'm a true believer is everybody need to be treated as person man or woman I thank if people man or woman is locked up they should be able to have a family visit no matter what level they are on they still have family,kids and that special someone that will help with a lot of problems that happen in the prison federal prison should be the main ones to have family visits a lot of people that's in there don't have family or other and they may go but they may not come visit I'm not saying make it a everyday thing every 60days if coming from other states allow family visits for the weekend it doesn't have be to be taxpayers money the person or people that want that family visit could pay just as they would do if they was at a room...the problems and behavior prisons both state and federal wouldn't be the way it is now...get it a try,oh and ones in high security with 20,25 and more or life these the people should be able to get the offer 1st marriage is marriage no matter what before they was in there or after it shouldn't matter it takes a stronger person to deal with someone that's locked up and it's shows that person who's locked someone still care for and about them regardless of the fact with if they are in prison..everybody need somebody kids,family whatever..
Submitted by on Jul 14, 2011 - 6:56PM
If we were living together before his incarceration n get married while hes in there,can we still get family visits?
Submitted by on Aug 12, 2011 - 2:09PM
Hi Lisa, thanks for the question. LegalZoom makes creating legal documents easy and affordable, but we unfortunately cannot give specific legal advice regarding your situation. Feel free to contact your local county court for more advice or you can get free legal advice on the LegalZoom Facebook page every Friday and Tuesday. Check out Free Joe: http://zoo.mn/FreeJoe.
Submitted by on Oct 17, 2011 - 4:22PM
I MARRIED MY HUSBAND IN JAIL BECAUSE IT WAS EASIER TO GET MARRIED IN JAIL THEN WAITING UNTIL HE GOT TO PRISON. I was wondering what the requirements are to have family visits in california. I have had a drug felony charge about 10 yrs. ago and I completed a drug program. Will I be able to have family visits with him if he goes to a mamixum security prison? And if I have had charges in the past about 10 yrs. ago will it matter now?
Submitted by on Oct 25, 2011 - 7:40PM
I FEEL THAT IT IS ABSOLUTELY INHUMANE TO DIS-ALLOW FAMILY VISITS BASED ON AN INMATES,(MALE,OR FEMALE), SENTENCE! IF THE LETTER,"L" IS ANYWHERE IN THE SENTENCE THEN FAMILY VISITS ARE NOT ALLOWED,(IN CALIF.). I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT IT HAS GONE UNCHANGED FOR SOME 16 YEARS PLUS. IT SHOULD BE A GRANTED PRIVILIDGE BASED UPON BEHAVIOR OF THE INMATE. AN EARNED REWARD. AND WE FAMILY MEMBERS WOULD BE MORE THAN WILING TO PAY. IF YOU VISIT YOUR LOVED ONE FOR THE TWO DAY WEEKEND; YOU HAVE TO PAY FOR A ROOM ANYHOW. BRING BACK FAMILY VISITS FOR LIFERS TOO! I CANNOT IMAGINE WHAT THE CHILDREN OF LIFERS GO THROUGH, NOT BEING ABLE TO SPEND ANY TIME WITH HIS/HER PARENT OTHER THAN IN AN OVER-CROWDED VISITING ROOM. AND MOST OF THOSE VISITS ARE CUT SHORT DEPENDING ON HOW MANY VISITORS SHOW UP, AND THE SEATING BECOMES LIMITED; WHETHER YOU HAVE AN APPOINTMENT OR NOT, IT'S BYE-BYE, NO MATTER HOW FAR YOU HAVE DRIVEN.
Submitted by on May 10, 2012 - 7:25PM
My husband ended up with 58 to life, and my children and I are suffering... thank you for your comment! It helped my heart at this very moment reading this to see that you have a heart and speak your mind! Thank you <3
Submitted by on Nov 6, 2011 - 9:17PM
If I marry a lady after she goes to prison and that prison allows extended family visits, can i get her pregnant while she is still serving time in prison? Which states allow this?
Submitted by on Nov 27, 2011 - 8:56AM
My boyfriend whom I have a 9month old with is currently incarcerated at Rikers Island in NYC. Is it possible for us to get married and receive family visits? If so, how would I proceed to do this and does it matter that he is not yet sentenced? Also, what does the family visits entail for example: how long and often are they? Will they be conducted in a trailer at Rikers Island?
Submitted by on Jan 5, 2012 - 10:45AM
My husband is in California prison, level 1-2 for domestic violence against me. I know that California has strict laws when it comes to these type of cases and allowing conjugal visits. However, is there no way of fighting this or other avenues to possibly having visits granted?
Thank you in advance!
Submitted by on Feb 15, 2012 - 5:25PM
Thanks for contacting LegalZoom. LegalZoom makes creating legal documents easy and affordable, but since we're not a law firm, we can't give specific legal advice regarding prison visits. However, you can get free legal advice on the LegalZoom Facebook page every Friday and Tuesday. Check out Free Joe: http://zoo.mn/FreeJoe.
Submitted by on Jan 15, 2012 - 10:20AM
My husband and i just got married in prision.. i wanted to know which state allows conjugal visits for the people who get married inside the prision?
Submitted by on Feb 15, 2012 - 5:26PM
Thanks for contacting LegalZoom. LegalZoom makes creating legal documents easy and affordable, but since we're not a law firm, we can't give specific legal advice regarding which states allow conjugal visits. However, you can get free legal advice on the LegalZoom Facebook page every Friday and Tuesday. Check out Free Joe: http://zoo.mn/FreeJoe. You may also wish to contact the prison directly for more information.
Submitted by on Jan 21, 2012 - 10:32PM
Same thing as above my husband was convicted of violent domestic violence charges against me. We were married before he was convicted we dont have restraining order. Hes in a california prison, can we get conjucal visits?
Submitted by on Feb 16, 2012 - 8:14AM
Hi Megan--Thanks for contacting LegalZoom. LegalZoom makes creating legal documents easy and affordable, but since we're not a law firm, we can't give specific legal advice regarding this situation. However, you can get free legal advice on the LegalZoom Facebook page every Friday and Tuesday. Check out Free Joe: http://zoo.mn/FreeJoe.
Submitted by on May 1, 2012 - 2:56PM
Is the visitor's log at the prison considered public info. ? Or is it confidential?
Submitted by on May 10, 2012 - 1:09PM
Hi Donna - While LegalZoom makes creating legal documents easy and affordable, we unfortunately cannot give specific legal advice on whether a prison log is considered public information or not. Feel free to get free legal advice on the LegalZoom Facebook page every Tuesday and Friday. Check out Free Joe: http://zoo.mn/FreeJoe.
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