updated November 21, 2023 · 4min read
Once you've decided to get divorced, the next step is deciding how to accomplish it. This includes whether you and your spouse can work together to achieve an amicable divorce, whether you'll use mediation, or whether you'll go through the court process from start to finish.
If you've decided to forego mediation, you'll need to decide whether to hire a matrimonial attorney or whether to go it alone. Although every state allows you to handle your own case, there are pros and cons for representing yourself.
A pro se divorce is where a litigant represents themselves for the divorce without the aid of an attorney. "Pro se" and "pro per" mean the same thing—they refer to self-representation in court, and the words pro se and pro per come from Latin phrases. While most states use the term pro se, some states, like California, use the term pro per, either of which means to represent oneself in court from start to finish.
Pro se litigants are responsible for filing the papers properly, serving the papers correctly, and completing all the divorce papers required for their state. If you do anything incorrectly, the court could dismiss the case, require you to redo papers, or require you to re-serve the other party.
Additionally, if your spouse has an attorney, it's important for you to hire one to level the playing field. Proceeding pro se while your spouse has an attorney is not advisable, because your spouse's attorney doesn't represent your interests and will try to get you to agree to terms you wouldn't have agreed to if you'd had an attorney.
There are pros and cons to being a pro se litigant, and the cons outweigh the pros. In some cases, you have no choice except to proceed pro se, and you have the right to do so.
If you're representing yourself, you might consider using divorce mediation instead of using the courts for your divorce. Depending on your state, mediation could prohibit attorney participation, so that's the best time to act as your own attorney. You must know, however, if your spouse will act in good faith or just go through the motions of negotiating. If your spouse won't act in good faith, you won't resolve your divorce, and mediation will be a waste of time.
The good news is that mediation is less costly and takes less time than a court divorce. Mediation is often less stressful than going to court, so it's a good alternative to going before a judge. Mediation is best achieved when there aren't a lot of assets or debts and when the parties can cooperate.
No matter how you do your divorce, it's important to know that you have choices. You can use mediation, use an attorney, or act as a pro se litigant. If you do file pro se, consider consulting an attorney to review your papers so you'll know that you're getting a fair deal.
by Ronna L. DeLoe, Esq.
Ronna L. DeLoe is a freelance writer and a published author who has written hundreds of legal articles. She does...
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