What Are the Pros and Cons of Long-Term Separation?

Long-term separation is an alternative to divorce in which a couple will remain legally married while both spouses live separate lives. This typically involves moving out of a shared residence and limiting communications or physical contact between the spouses.

Depending on the state in which the separation occurs, there may also be a variety of legal obligations which must be met for the separation to be considered valid.

Why would a couple choose to do a long-term separation? Or, to put it another way, are there actually advantages of legal separation over divorce?

Here’s a guide to long-term separations if you are contemplating a legal separation before divorce or living apart indefinitely.

Pros and cons of legal separation at a glance

No two relationships are exactly alike. Deciding on the terms of a separation or divorce can be tricky, and it’s important to weigh the pros and cons of legal separation for your particular circumstances as you navigate the process.

Before pursuing a long-term separation, there are some important personal and financial implications you should be aware of.

Advantages

• Legally separated couples will retain any shared benefits of their spouse's health insurance and healthcare coverage purchased during their marriage.
• Certain income tax benefits remain available to couples who remain married despite a separation.
• In longer relationships, one spouse may qualify for Social Security and pension benefits based on the other spouse’s employment history.
• The division of marital property and shared assets might not be in the best interest of one or both spouses at the time of separation, making a long-term separation advantageous compared to a divorce. 
• Some couples may view a long-term separation as less complicated and confusing for kids, family, and friends.

Disadvantages

• If both partners don’t share similar spending habits, a less frugal spouse could negatively impact their former partner’s credit through careless spending.
• Your income and assets could change significantly over the course of your separation, leading to unexpected changes in the financial terms of a divorce if you eventually seek one.
• If one or both spouses die, a long-term separation might make settling their estate more complicated than it could be if a divorce is finalized.
• A once amicable separation can turn combative in some cases, forcing spouses to reach divorce terms under less favorable circumstances than if they’d sought a divorce immediately following their separation.

Financial considerations in long-term separation

Overall, financial considerations seem to play the most important role in whether a couple remains separated for the long term. Several economic issues in particular may influence a couple's decision to stay separated without a divorce, either living separately or under the same roof. These may include but are not limited to the following:

Insurance/health care coverage

Remaining married generally means that both parties keep any insurance or health care coverage they maintained as a married couple; this, of course, can be a huge benefit, particularly if one party might otherwise have difficulty obtaining and maintaining insurance or health care coverage. Some couples may also decide to incorporate insurance and/or health care coverage into a separation or divorce agreement.

Income tax benefits

Staying married means the couple can take advantage of certain income tax benefits, including possible increases in deductions.

Social Security benefits and/or pensions

In the case of a ten-year or longer marriage, an ex-spouse qualifies to receive a share of the other ex-spouse's Social Security benefits; some couples parting on good terms may even decide to hold out for an extra year or more in order to reach that ten-year threshold or otherwise agree to special arrangements regarding an ex-spouse's pension.

Mortgage/home sale

Selling a family home or unloading a mortgage may not be in a separated couple's best financial interests; doing so might place an undue burden on the one responsible for a mortgage, or perhaps the market is down and they would have to forfeit the opportunity to get a better price. Some couples may even choose to continue living together on the same property in order to avoid a financial loss involving the marital home.

Potential financial disadvantages of legal separation

If you're separated or considering a separation, keep in mind that the financial benefits could be outweighed by the potential hazards, including economic ones. Debt is sometimes shared by married couples, depending on the laws of the state where they reside, which could mean that a thrifty spouse may be on the hook for half of the spending spouse's credit card debt, even long after they've separated. If the spending spouse falls behind on payments, both spouses' credit ratings may be affected.

Moreover, each spouse's assets could dwindle or increase dramatically over the course of a long separation. If the partners eventually divorce, the spouse who is better financially positioned when the divorce occurs could be ordered to pay much more alimony than they would have if the divorce had occurred at the time of separation, even though the receiving spouse contributed no financial, emotional or physical support during that period.

Other potential dangers include estate disputes due to heirs' lack of awareness that the deceased never officially divorced, as well as the possibility that an estranged spouse could move away and be hard to locate if one of the partners finally decides to divorce.

Non-financial reasons for long-term separation

Sometimes the decision to stay separated may have more to do with social considerations; some couples simply prefer to continue conducting their lives together, whether or not their friends and family know the truth. Couples with children may feel that separating is less confusing or easier for their offspring. And many couples just don't “get around to” divorcing, seeing no real benefit in doing so, particularly if they don't expect to remarry.

Regardless of the reasons, a couple's decision to stay married, separate, reconcile, or divorce is intensely personal and often based on many factors, especially financial, but remember—the possibility of a once-amicable separation turning unpleasant is very real, and this is something every couple should consider when deciding their course of action.

Alternatives to legal separation

If it’s still unclear which option might be best for you and your spouse, there are other options that might better suit your unique situation. These alternatives offer ways to either repair a difficult relationship or, if that’s not possible, lead to a speedy, amicable resolution.

Trial separation

A trial separation is commonly used by couples seeking to salvage their relationship during a particularly difficult time. Unlike divorce or legal separation, a trial separation is arranged entirely between the two spouses and is not legally binding. It simply aims to give the spouses space and perspective as they try to decide whether or not they wish to dissolve the relationship.

Mediation

Mediation aims to make a separation less hostile—and less expensive—by consulting with a third party rather than enlisting a legal team in family court. In many cases, couples can save time, legal fees, and emotional duress by enlisting a qualified mediator. A mediator will go over things like financial obligations, parenting duties, spousal support, healthcare and insurance policies, and more to help make a split as amicable as possible.

Uncontested divorce

Some relationships end on positive terms for both spouses. In cases where there are no unresolved conflicts between the divorcing parties, it’s possible to forgo the legal process typically used to enforce the terms of a divorce by filing for an uncontested divorce.

FAQs

What’s the difference between legal separation vs. divorce?

Legal separation and divorce accomplish many of the same things in a relationship that no longer remains viable, but there are some key differences between the two. One of the biggest differences between divorce and legal separation is your legal marital status—after a divorce, the legal relationship between both parties is formally ended, while a legally separated couple is still considered married in the eyes of the court system.

Divorcing and separation also differ on matters like your ability to remarry, shared financial benefits and liabilities, the division of property, and next-of-kin status for things like medical care and financial matters.

Is legal separation recognized in all states?

All but four states–Delaware, Florida, Pennsylvania, and Texas–allow for some form of legal separation, although the requirements to qualify for legal separation can vary broadly from state to state. Some states, like Georgia, Maryland, and Michigan, refer to a legal separation as “separate maintenance,” which carries with it some of the financial obligations of a divorce. Other states, like North Carolina, consider a couple to be legally separated as soon as one partner moves out with no intention of returning.

If you are considering a legal separation, check to see what your options might be based on your state of residence to ensure you’re able to pursue a suitable resolution for your relationship.

What’s included in a legal separation agreement?

A legal separation agreement includes many of the same terms as a divorce settlement and is intended to address any pertinent financial and personal obligations both parties have going forward. The document typically addresses things like the division of assets and property, child custody agreements, and ongoing support in the form of alimony or child support.

Is it possible to end a legal separation?

Reversibility is one of the benefits of staying married but separated. If both parties agree they want to resume the relationship, it’s typically very simple to revoke a legal separation order. In most places, all that’s required is to file a motion with the appropriate court to end the separation, along with its underlying terms.

While the process is straightforward, it’s a good idea to approach the ending of a separation agreement with the help of a mediator or other counselor to reduce the risk of another separation in the future.

Michelle Kaminsky, Esq., contributed to this story.