Discussing finances is never easy. However, there are questions you can ask to help ensure your parents' financial security without overstepping your bounds as their child.
There could be many reasons why older adults may not plan for their financial future—fear of losing control, igniting family conflicts, or having to confront their own mortality.
But simply sitting down and opening up a dialogue with them can help reassure them that they can have control over their finances and estate matters while still receiving assistance.
Before you get started, here are some areas to consider discussing:
Strike a respectful tone
First and foremost, it's important to be sensitive to and respectful of the delicate nature of your parents' financial — as well as emotional—needs.
Not having the ability to maintain their financial independence can be frustrating and disappointing for them as they get older. Understanding where they are coming from can help make the conversation easier on both sides.
Organize essential financial documents
Noting where essential personal papers are located is a first step to helping your parents with their finances. These include birth and marriage certificates, Social Security cards, life, health, and property insurance policies, and mortgage information.
If your parents own a safe or rent a safety deposit box, make sure you know where the combination and keys are located—and if, in the case of the safety deposit box, usually at a bank—you, or someone else, needs to be a signer to have access.
Make lists of financial activities
Make a list of your parents' income and expenses, including whether they receive a monthly pension, disability, or government assistance, and any other monthly expenses such as car and mortgage payments, credit card payments, utility bills, and other personal expenses.
Also, list their bank and investment companies' information, including PINs, savings and checking account numbers, investment accounts, certificates of deposit, and stock and bond information, as well as the financial institutions' contact information.
Organize estate planning documents
If you don't already know, find out if your parents have a last will, living trust, living will (also called a health care directive) or power of attorney, and where the originals and copies are located. If they don't have these documents, work with them to create them.
Involve a financial expert
If your parents' financial situation is more complex than you or they can handle, you might want to look into hiring a financial planner, accountant, or tax attorney.
In some cases, a money manager might be needed to help establish a budget, manage Social Security, pay bills, or balance their checkbook. Whatever you decide, you can ensure their financial health is in good hands while maintaining your parents' financial independence.
Look out for red flags
As you go through and organize your parents' financial records, keep an eye out for any suspicious activity on bank statements or checkbook registers. Some red flags include incorrect or duplicate payments, unusually large purchases or charitable donations, high credit card debt, collection notices, or even sweepstakes or contest expenditures.
These red flags are indications that your parents may need assistance in managing their financial obligations.
The best time to discuss finances
The best time to discuss finances with your parents is while they are still competent and self-sufficient.
Planning and seeking out the appropriate professional financial assistance on their behalf can help ensure your parents enter their golden years in the most comfortable, stress-free, and secure way possible.